Losing someone you love is never easy. What is so difficult to me is knowing I will never be able to touch my sweet sister again. I will never be able to smell her again, never hear her voice again, look into her eyes, simply be in her presence. Those moments have simply faded away.
One of the greatest gifts we were blessed with in those final days was being given those moments. I was able to write her “My letter to an Angel” and be present with her there “in the here and now.” I could hold her , cry with her, touch her, smell her and FEEL her in that moment. Even in the end when she became unresponsive, I was able to go and sit by her bedside. I could hold her hand , watch and feel her heart beating. Sometimes I would doze off next to her and that was OK because I was still THERE.
Memories are a wonderful thing. It is all we have left when God calls our loved ones home. We must cling to those memories and hold them dear so we do not forget. I am so grateful God has blessed me with as many wonderful memories as He has. In the coming days I pray my heart will come to accept that the moments we were given, that seem to have faded into only memories so quickly, were given to us now to cherish in this time of great sorrow.
Then, as I sit here in my loneliness, aching for the presence of my beautiful sister, I am reminded once again that SHE is standing in the presence of her LORD! Nothing could be more magnificent or memorable for her than that! Her once broken body is now free. She is once again whole. I picture here dancing and singing in His presence. This is what will sustain me and be locked into my memory forever. What a glorious time she is having being in the presence of Jesus “in the here and now.” I can only imagine!